Meal train

A meal train has been established for us. Thank you Autumn & Browns Bridge! 

https://mealtrain.com/z8lyo

Joy on the Farm

One Week Update

It’s been a week since my surgery, and I’m feeling pretty good! As with all recovery, some days are just better than others. I’m still extremely tired, but my walks have grown in length, and I now try to get out to see our feathered friends a couple times a day. Life on the Rhoades Farm brings much joy!

            During this journey with cancer, I am learning how to fight for joy on a daily basis. Joy is a choice! I can sit and ponder on the what-ifs, the pains, the hurts, the scary outcomes, the waiting, OR I can find joy in God. I can seek his face, and I can experience His joy. His joy is aplenty! It might sound almost contradictory to be full of joy AND to be fighting cancer, but as Nehemiah stated “…the JOY of the Lord is your STRENGTH” (Nehemiah 8:10). I can not express how true this has been for me. The more I focus on God and his love for me, the less time I have to be stricken with worry or fear. The more I seek joy in the world around me, the less pain and sadness I feel. God has not forsaken me, He’s walking right along side me through this entire journey!

            Thank you for continuing to pray for me! My body is a mess, as is normal after most major surgeries! Please pray for continued healing and adapting to the new “normal”. Please pray for great test results – clear lymph nodes, clean margins, and clear parametrium. Cambodia is on my heart…..who has time for cancer?!

A New Day

This post will be short and sweet, as I'm sure you understand! :)

First, I just want to thank all of you for your amazing support and encouragement. I can not fully express how much it has meant to us! We began receiving emails Sunday night before surgery, and they are still arriving! Michael has shared each and every note, message, email, text and phone call with me. It is an overwhelming feeling to be so loved by so many! Thank you - you guys keep us going! 
     
I definitely don't want to leave out the food. Oh my goodness. All of it has been so delicious!! I have an appetite, although I get full very quickly, but I make sure to try everything. You guys are amazing! Thanks for the visits. Healing can be monotonous and boring, so I am grateful for the conversations! 
    
 I'm doing well to be just a few days post-op! I'm finally able to get up and get around, although I tire rather quickly...and by quickly I mean after just a few steps! I'm swollen and bruised, sore and tired, BUT I'm oh so good! God is oh.so.good! Per my oncologist, the surgery couldn't have gone better. I loss very little blood ( a common complication in this type of surgery). My blood sugars have been good and stable. I'm healing and recovering with God, family, and friends right by my side. 

YOU GUYS REALLY ARE AMAZING! I am blessed indeed! 

Surgery Update

Becky is out of surgery. Thank you so much for all of your prayers! 

Family

God continues to place things in front of Becky and I that speak to the fact that we are His.  Not only is he our Creator, but he is our Sustainer.  He crafted you and I.  

Knowing that we would reject him, he bore our penalty of death.  He died so we could live.  

He said we could never do enough to win his favor; we can’t complete a to-do list to earn a place in his court.  Instead, he came into the world he created in the most humble way.  He came as a baby, born into a family.  Now, Christ invites us into his family.  He wants us to be his bride.  Once we put our trust in Him, He calls us Daughter, Son, Brother, Sister. We Belong.  We are Accepted.  We are Loved.  We are Chosen.  

Thank you to each of you that have lifted our family, doctors, & nurses up to God.  Each of you have wrapped your arms around us, prayed for us, cried for us, loved us.  Each of you are family, and it is good to be a part of God’s family.  

His family is big, and we have people praying for us from Georgia to Minnesota to Texas to Costa Rica to Cambodia, and I’m certain in other places in between.

On Belay?

A little climbing lingo for you...

On Belay? —  “Are you ready to belay me?”
Belay On   —  “We are Ready.”
Climbing   —  “I’m climbing."
Climb On  —  “We are ready and paying attention to you.”

(Post by Michael)
I have been on multiple team building events where climbing is involved.  I must admit, it is a pretty cool experience when you scale a 30 foot telephone pool, and then stand on top of it… on one foot.  Next, jumping to grab, and hang from a trapeze bar. It is a both a nerve racking and exhilarating experience.

You cannot (or at least should not) attempt this on your own.  The point of this crazy obstacle is both for you to stretch your limits, and for you to be fully reliant upon your belay team.  While you are trying to figure out how to go from climbing this pole to standing on top of it (as it sways back and forth), you are trusting your life to this group of individuals who are strapped into the rope system with you.  You have the liberty to push further because you know that this group is with you, and that they have you covered.

As I have walked this road of cancer with my wife, I often find myself wondering… “What do you do when the one you love has cancer?”  No really.  What.Do.You.Do? What is the appropriate response when you are told that your bride has cancer?

I cannot “fix it”.  I could not protect her from it.  So I am grounded in the realization that I, as a man, as a husband, cannot “solve” this.  Then God reminds me of my role.  He reminds me that my role of a husband is not to “fix it”.  He tells me that this is not my problem to solve.  It is my role is to be her belay team.  I, her husband, her other half, her best friend, her love, her life, her husband, her soulmate, her sunshine; am to love and support - her.  

The Creator of the universe.  The Sustainer of life.  The King above all Kings.  My Savior, my Redeemer, my Strong Tower.  This is His, and it is His will that I want to be done. 

God, Wife, Husband.  Yep, we’ve got this.

Need to Breathe has a song that I love.  The song is full of conviction, determination, and resolve.  The song is titled “Won’t Turn Back”.  Here is small part of it:

Faithful like a soldier

Who’s answered to the call

Even when his back’s against the wall

So tell me why I should run for cover

At the sound of the coming thunder

All I hear is the cry of my lover

Yeah take your shot

I won’t turn back

Cancer…Tell me why I should run for cover.

I. Won’t. Turn. Back.

Each of you are key to our journey.  We are grateful for all of you.  Your love, your care, your intentionality, your prayers; they are all key for us.  

You are Our Belay Team. So...
On Belay?

Being Real

Let’s just be real for a few minutes. Cancer really sucks. Like really. Today was my pre-op appointment at the doctor office and then the pre admitting along with pre surgery testing at the hospital. My day has been long and my cup is oh, so empty.

            Logistically preparing for the surgery is rough, logistically preparing for this surgery with type 1 diabetes is a nightmare. I thought I would have to fast after midnight, like I have done previously for other surgeries, but learned today that this process will actually start the day before at noon. I will be a grumpy girl for sure! What does this mean for my diabetes? I will have to manage blood sugars with fruit juices and Gatorade… like a sick day… but I won’t be sick. I’ll. Be. Hungry.

I’ll also have to go through a bowel cleanse. I’m sure that you all wanted to know this, but I state this fact, because I HAD PLANS FOR SUNDAY NIGHT! I had church plans, guys. My last Sunday evening before surgery, with my small group, the 8^th grade girls I currently lead in Transit… we had plans! Plans, did I mention that? I have no time to be near a potty, I have things to do, girls to hang out with…I had plans… wahhh! Well, I guess my plans will change.

            The last thing I must mention about the day, is that no one knows the answer when you ask them, “How will you manage my diabetes while I am out cold on your operating table?”. They defer, and they defer, and well you see the pattern. I was finally able to carry on a 15 minute conversation with an anesthesiologist at the hospital via phone. See, when you enter the hospital on an insulin pump, you sign a form giving the right to someone else to manage your pump if you cannot, in other words, push all the right buttons. This, in my case, is my sweet hubs who is a pump-button-pushing-genius. Also, on this form, you are signing that you are fully aware no hospital staff will be in charge of your pump nor will they be pushing any buttons. So what does that mean? If you are unable (or your sweet hubs is unable) to be properly pushing buttons in the correct order, you will be at the mercy of the hospital staff. Woah! What? That means they will disconnect your pump and you go on shots with the insulin of their choice being Regular insulin ( an old school insulin used in the 90’s – a whole other blog).  So after previously mentioned convo with anesthesiologist, I was given the choice: Regular insulin during surgery or no surgery. This probably makes no sense to many of you, but in layman’s terms, I understood this as: regular insulin or cancer? Whatever… just give me the regular insulin if you must.

            It’s been a rough day for sure, but I still rejoice. I serve a BIG God that knows me, and His promises hold true in every day.

My HOPE is in HIM

Let’s just say I got my bones rattled a little today.

I came across a blog of a woman who had the same diagnosis as mine, and her blog journeyed through over two years of treatment. She, initially, had the same treatment plan as I do, and the road just kept curving for her. Adjustments here, plan B there, much like life in general. Her outcome was not favorable. I had to walk away from the computer and into the kitchen… cause that’s just where I find my peace and my comfort. No, not eating, but baking and cooking. On a side note, my family will now have a delicious lemon ice box pie for dessert this evening!

As I was stirring and mixing, I listened to the stirring in my heart. This is my journey. I have to be careful not to get it confused with someone else’s journey. In Jeremiah 29:11, God DECLARES “ For I know the plans I have for you: plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. If God declares this, you can bet I’m going to hold on to that. My hope is IN Him. My future is IN Him. He is my hope, He is my future, what is there to worry about?! :)

When Cancer Comes Calling

It’s never easy to hear the word “cancer”, but in today’s world it’s really not that unusual either. In the last 3 years, it seems as though my family has had its fair share of cancer diagnoses: my mom, my dad, and now myself (albeit 3 different types of cancer). 

            Let me catch you up to date if you feel “out of the loop”, or perhaps you’re just willing to sit here long enough and hear (…read) the whole story. In April 2014, I went in for a routine well woman check-up. The pap came back abnormal, and I was scheduled for a colposcopy, a simple biopsy done in office. Although this is a routine procedure to follow abnormal paps, it is not so simple and routine for me. Two years previously, I had this same procedure. In the office, following the colposcopy, I fainted in the receptionist area, resulting in 8 stitches in my chin, and dental work for months. (Did I mention the concrete stained floor??) So with much anticipation, I went in April for my colposcopy. Thanks to the awesome staff being so patient with me, I came out unscathed. The results came back within a couple of weeks. I had high grade dysplasia, which can become cancer. I would need a more invasive surgery (called a cone biopsy) to obtain a larger biopsy for further diagnosis. This surgery was done on May 19. Within a couple of weeks, I had the results and they indeed indicated cancer. Further pathology indicated invasive, and now the cancer has been staged as 1b cervical adenocarcinoma. Cervical cancer affects about 12,000 women a year in the US, and of those only about 10% are adenocarcinomas. Go figure… if you know my history in the statistics of life, you would see this isn’t all that surprising.

            Over the course of a few weeks, I have since been to see a couple of gynecologic oncologists, and have chosen the treatment plan and doctor best for me. I will be undergoing a radical hysterectomy with lymph node dissection on July 21. I hope to receive final pathology results with clear lymph nodes and clear margins.

            On a more personal note (and less factual and scientific), I am doing really well! I feel secure in the plan that God has for my life, and I have no doubt that He gives me the strength for each day… one at a time. I must remember this! ;) I am so looking forward to my mission trip to Cambodia in November, and this year, at least for me, it will be a celebration of life! I have been saying all along that I intend to go on this trip until God tells me otherwise. I have felt nothing but encouraged to continue planning and heading in this direction.  Bring on the surgery – I got things to do! :)

            I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t mention having bad days, frustrating days, and just plain ol’ tired days. BUT on every single day such as this, I have had a friend standing right there with me. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. You truly get me through the rough patches. Thanks for never leaving me to feel alone. Thanks for cheering me on. Thanks for spending time with me just hanging out. Thanks for making me laugh, smile, and yes, on occasion cry…at least we were doing it together. God’s got this. I got this. We got this. Thanks for fighting cancer with me! It takes an army, right? :)

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. Psalm 71:14